The picture I took of Sarah when she was going through her ‘car surfing’ faze. It was during a time when I was trying to embrace the ‘crazy’. I had no idea what the hell to do about her behaviour and shouting and timeouts were only making things worse. So, I tried to go with it - but this also didn’t work! Moments after posting it to Instagram and hashtagging about embracing my 'fun loving' daughter, Sarah had a meltdown. It took us about forty minutes to get her into the car. She was screaming, running off, hiding and shouting at us all. I cried buckets and told myself what a failure I was as a Mum.
I think it's so important for Mums to know that behind most of those 'happy photos' someone is going through something that they are to scared to share. They may have fallen out of love with their husband; they may hate being a mother and want so badly to go back to how things were when they were single. They may have had the worst row with their partner, family, friends or kids. They may be suffering from crippling anxiety, depression or loneliness. We all have something; every single one of us.
I wrote 'Saving Sarah' for all the Mums that are doing what I was doing. The Mums who are too scared to tell anyone the truth about their child. The Mums who hide what's going on because they feel they will be judged or their child will be judged. I wrote it for the Mums who are struggling so much to cope that have found themselves on antidepressants just to be able to function. To the Mums who’s relationships are falling apart because all they think, talk and dream about is their child. The Mums who are self-loathing and telling themselves that they are a failure. I wrote it for you.
You are not a failure; you are a hero. A hero because you are going through this pain every single day of your life. A hero for trying so hard to protect your child, your family and your relationship. You are at this point in your life, because your life has something to show you. It may not feel like it now, but this journey will eventually teach you something about you, your past, your life and everything that you are. You are being tested right now, but you can do this - the Universe has your back!
And remember; 'no one's life is as perfect as their social media', we are all going through something. Every, single, one of us. #reallife.