There have been a lot of Mums contacting me recently, sharing their worries about their child's low self-esteem. Low self-esteem was something that Sarah* suffered with on a daily basis and even though the psychologist told me they could help Sarah, sadly they never could. We saw the psychologist for over a year, and while Sarah loved going each week, unfortunately, her behaviour or self-esteem didn't change. To be honest, it got worse and so did her behaviour.
Sarah's teachers talked about her self-esteem issues, all the ADHD books I read discussed low self-esteem, yet no one really talked about how to change it. I would look at other Mums photos on Instagram, and wondered how they all seemed to have it together? Their children seemed like they were bursting with self-esteem and they appeared to have wonderful, loving relationships with their Mothers. I would scroll through the pictures, feeling more and hopeless and more and more useless as a Mum. Sarah's self-esteem was getting worse and along the way, mine was plummeting too.
Did these other Mothers go to the 'Best Mum School'?
And if so, where the hell was this place?
How did they have such happy kids?
What was their secret?
Well, Mama Bears, I am here to tell you that life isn't that perfect, no-one has it together like the Instagram pictures portray. Life is life, it's full of up's and downs and twists and turns, yet no one wants to talk about it, no one wants, to be honest.
Well, I am that Mum. I am the Mum that will tell you I have been there and worn the T-shirt! I have dragged my daughter around to see every Natural and Medical expert going. We have tried every parenting style known to man, various medications (for Sarah and me), and not one of them worked long term. And while there is no such thing as the 'Best Mum School', I have learned that to Sarah, I am the best Mum - we all are; we just have to believe it.
If we could look inside our children's hearts, we would see that they love us so much it hurts. They just want us to love them for who they are. And no expert, pill, potion or lotion can do that. It's so hard for us to realise this as we often don't believe it; how could they love us when we are so hard on them? A different type of child can be hard to love; whether they have ADHD, Anxiety, Defiance, ASD, whatever it is, they are 'different' and society doesn't cope with 'different' very well.
I want you to stop being so hard on yourself, give yourself a pat on the back, tell yourself you are doing a great job and believe that you have the power to unlock the door. The self-esteem door that seems so locked, we can't even find the key! But, you have the key, I know you do, and I want to help you to unlock the door and help your child (and yourself) to have a greater self-esteem!
I am starting a '7-day self-esteem challenge' on Monday 22nd of August. It is 100% free and 100% simple. You will only need some paper, a pen and a few minutes each day.
To find out more, like my Facebook page, subscribe to my blog, and I will send all the details to your inbox next week. Until then, hang in there Mama Bears; you are doing a great job!
See you all next week!
* Name has been changed