Why sisterhood is so important in raising an ADHD child
The last two weeks have been pretty incredible not only for me but also for little Sarah. My three very best friends from the UK have been staying with us. They left their partners and kids and travelled 9000 miles so we could share some very special memories together.
We have known each other for 25 years, and they are like my sisters. I love the safeness and familiarity that comes with that, and Sarah has loved it too. We emigrated to Australia almost three years ago, and while we love having visitors stay with us, Sarah finds the change in routine hard.
However, the last two weeks have been amazing. Three other women who have spent time with Sarah; reading, chatting, laughing and loving her for who she is. We are very lucky to have some wonderful friends and family here in Australia, and we are so grateful that our UK family have visited us over the last three years, but on this visit from three other women; there was something different.
There was a magic, a sparkle and a presence of love and oneness that filled our home.
There was a sisterhood.
I have loved the vibe in our home over the last two weeks, and I'm so humbled at how much Sarah has basked in this togetherness. Three other women to share the home, washing, cleaning, cooking and supporting me with the children. We have laughed and cried, our emotions have been up and down, and my heart has been bursting with love and happiness.
I recently read the most amazing article about how women need a tribe and a sisterhood. It talked about how it's essential for our happiness and mental well-being. In ancient times women shared care of their babies, gathered food and cooked together. It also discussed how in traditions like the Red Tent, women came together during menstruation to be together, often with synchronised cycles, and it was a beautiful time for nurturing, sharing, loving each other and offering support.
Shortly after we emigrated to Australia, Sarah was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I still believe that it happened so quickly as that togetherness and sisterhood now became just Mummy and Daddy. We had left our tribe of grandmas and nanas, aunties and cousins and both Sarah and I struggled with this new environment. Being with other women helps us to be better mothers, and the moral support, physical, emotional and mental support and stimulation create a beautiful, harmonious environment for children to thrive.
A friend once said to me 'women are the glue of the family, they hold everything together'. During the 12 months after Sarah was diagnosed my glue was falling apart and I could feel it, but I didn't know what to do about it. My husband and my other two children seemed fine, but the more I fell apart, the more Sarah's behaviour worsened. I didn't have a tribe of women at the time, and I felt lost and isolated. Having a child with a diagnosis is one thing, but when you are in a new country trying to make new friendships, it's daunting and scary. I was very lucky to have some wonderful friends here in Perth who I was able to confide in, but there was still so much I couldn't say, as I felt embarrassed and a failure.
I know what it's like to feel so confused, scared and isolated when you have a difficult child. I understand how much it can affect you own well being as a Mum and how it can affect your relationship with your partner and your other children. It's daunting and consuming, and sadly there are so many of us living with this and not discussing it with anyone as we are too embarrassed.
I want to give women a place where they can comfort each other, share ideas and show each other love and compassion. A place where they can learn and grow and start to believe that their ADHD child can be amazing! A place where they can safely discuss ideas, tips and encourage each other through the hard times.
My gift to you today is that you can now download the first chapter of Saving Sarah: learning to live, love & laugh for free by clicking this link http://www.theauthorpeople.com/saving-sarah/.
It's time to start building our sisterhood, our tribe and our very own ADHD village!
With love & light,